Confessions of A Working Girl

I know I’m not alone in this…why does schooling have to be so freaking expensive? I know, I know…this is something that I should have realized long ago, especially with the fact that I will be a Junior in college this coming year… But it only just hit me.

I mean, what better way to make me realize just how much money this was when I heard my parents talking (technically, I think they were talking to me) about that if anything happened to me while I was abroad this coming year (e.g. death or… serious disability, I guess)  because of all my loans for school, and because most of those loans are under my parents names, they could potentially lose everything? That was a scary thought. I mean, I’ve known for years now that if we didn’t have the house, the income level that we have would make us homeless.

…maybe I’m not supposed to be telling people that. But it’s one of the things that is big on my mind, and I just need to…vent.

Anyway, this makes it so that my current obsession with scratch tickets is semi-ok since my ultimate goal is to win enough to help my parents pay off the mortgage for the house. That way they don’t have to worry about the bank taking it away…I think. Could the bank still take it away?

Plus, my parents need to keep the house so that I have somewhere to live after college while I pay back this enormous debt that the schooling results in. It’s a stupid, vicious cycle…you go to college and get into debt in order to get a degree which will enable you to get a well paying job which will enable you to make enough money both to live off of and to pay back that debt. Whereas if you don’t go to college and get into debt, you run the risk of making only barely enough money to live off of. Sheesh, we need to come up with a better system.

Despite my recent realization about all this debt, going to Japan has become as much of an obsession as…as…as James Dean! I really really really really want to go to Japan. I want this extended spring semester to work so badly that I’m almost starting to panic. And I hate that. The panic thing, that is. The biggest problem with the extended semester is getting the visa. They told me that to get the visa, I should be able to show that I have access to at least $15,000. And no, credit limits on credit cards don’t count. My question is: Where the hell does Japan think that an average person wishing to study abroad is going to get that money?????

All the bank accounts in my house combined would probably only barely hit 8 or 9 thousand. And I told the person in charge of the visa paperwork that I’d get all the paperwork to him by this week!!!!! Panic!!!!!!

…why doesn’t this blog have emoticons? Emoticons are fun! Like on msn messanger or aim…but msn has better emoticons. Much better ones. And they’re more fun too. But sadly, the emoticons won’t even copy + paste into the blog. T_T

Anyways, at least the Spain study abroad is all set. I just got the information on the people that I’m going to stay with. It sounds like it  will be with a nice older couple. I’ll get to meet them…I think the tentative schedule said that I would meet them four days after I arrive in Spain. I should touch up on my spanish…and learn/relearn how to say “Nice to meet you!” in spanish!

Oh, the other thing that I need to do for Spain is to find a gift for the host family. The letter from the study abroad program “suggested” that the gift be something smallish and useful. Mom suggested cranberry tea. Because of course, the gift should be something from the area I’m from–which is to say, Cape Cod. So, something cranberry…hmm…I didn’t want to get a book, since any book I got here would be in English, and besides, you can get books anywhere. Although by that token I guess you can pretty much get anything anywhere, I suppose…

I wonder…is there anything that is made/sold exclusively on Cape Cod and no where else in the world?  If anyone knows, please tell me!

…well…It’s 12:30 am, which could be part of the reason I’m close to panicking….I’m too tired to think straight! (Not that I ever think straight…usually I like to think in nice  qualihedron type shapes. And no, I don’t know how many sides that has…if it’s even a real word…)

2 Comments » Jerry:

August 18th, 2010 @ 5:56 pm You know…One way or another things always work out…Not always the way you had wished for, but sometimes for the better…or not…

Listen to “If that’s what it is” and don’t get nervous…what will happen, will happen…and therefore it is what’s meant to be….

Jerry:

August 18th, 2010 @ 6:02 pm P.S. Try www.cranberryharvest.com they sell cranberry jelly made with only Cape Cod cranberries

I’m sort of nervous a the moment…I have less than two weeks to get the last bit of paperwork in to the program…and it’s only like a month before I actually leave!!! Wow…

Today in the mail, I got the handbook for the study abroad in Spain! It was on a 2gb usb…the program even suggests that the usb can be used to store pictures from during the study abroad program.

Anyway, I got that, and I was looking at the calendar, and suddenly I was struck by nervousness. In just a little over a month and a half, I will be the furthest away from home that I’ve ever been for the longest amount of time. And there’s so much stuff that I need to do before then!

Stuff like finishing up my paperwork and acquiring a visa or two.  Well, I’m going to try my best! Especially now that I feel the deadline pressing in…

I meant to write this on Wednesday, but I had a project due that night, and so got way busy finishing writing it…

Anyway, I bought a chocolate bar that was 85% cocoa. I’ve always read that chocolate with more cocoa in it–e.g. dark chocolate– is better for you.  But I didn’t expect it to be bitter. I took a bite and was immediately wide eyed. “This,” I thought “is chocolate?!”For the most part, the taste was a little foreign, that bitter taste. But it had hints of familiarity, like the taste of cocoa powder, and the tiny, tiny hints of sweetness that reminded me that it really was a chocolate bar. 

I thought that this is the perfect kind of chocolate to grab if you’re upset. One little bite, and you forget, for a moment, why you were upset because the taste is so shockingly bitter. It is better, in that way, then regular chocolate. If you’re upset and you eat regular chocolate, you eat a lot of it, and slowly feel a little better, but a little…fat…at the same time. With this chocolate, one, maybe two squares of the chocolate bar is plenty, and you can’t eat any more of it.

There is a confession mixed into my rambling about chocolate. But for the moment, I’m still a little…wary, I guess, and mad at myself…and so at the moment, the Chocolate Confession will be hidden for now, even though it is officially Confession number 4. 

On a brighter note,  I have chosen the play for the summer, and ordered it. The kids this year will be putting on the play “The Three Piggy Opera”. It is based off of the story of the three little pigs. The theme at the library this summer is “Go Green at your Library” so I was thinking of how to incorporate that into the play. Maybe the bricks that the brick seller sells are recycled library books?  

1 Comment » Dad:

May 1st, 2010 @ 7:19 am Try 60% You’ll like it better…They also have a 6% with chili peppers…

I had  never been a huge fan of John Grisham–although I suppose I shouldn’t say that since the actual truth is, until recently, I had never read one of his books. Now I’m thinking I may want to try reading one…

Anyway, for my American Judicial Process class, we had to read The Innocent Man, by John Grisham. Less than a chapter into the book, and I was already horrified by how the case had been handled. Having just finished the book, I can only say that I am almost completely appalled by the criminal justice system.

For people who haven’t read the book, it is a story of two men who were wrongfully convicted of murder. It wasn’t just that they claimed they were innocent–they were innocent! They had alibis for the night of the murder, and there was zero evidence connecting them to the murder. One of the men had never even met the victim!

The murder occurred in 1982. The two men weren’t arrested until 1987, and then they spent the next twelve years in jail. Despite numerous requests for new trials, the two weren’t exonerated of the crime until 1999!

After reading that book, I just had to stop and think for a minute. If our criminal justice system can make huge mistakes like that–and this is no where near being an isolated case–then what confidence can we put into the system?

Having done ride-alongs with the police, and knowing people that are police, I can say that the police are not always the people in the wrong. Most of them are simply trying to do their duty of protecting the citizens of their town.

That said, there are still way too many things in the system that are corrupt.  Unless and until we fix that, incidents like this are going to remain a relatively common occurrence. Wasn’t the theory America founded on “Innocent until proven guilty”? Although that statement itself brings about problems…

Anyway, I guess my point is simply this: why do we let the criminal justice system stay twisted enough that sometimes it can be argued that we should call it the criminal injustice system?

…ok that wasn’t worded very well, but I think you get my point.

This semester is so busy! I know I’ve already complained about it before…

Running around getting field experience done, surveys done for my Research class, trying to finish my application to study abroad in Japan…

I know it’s not true, but I feel like I have so little free time! Maybe it’s because an hour or two here and there is not a really long time, and some things that I may want to do, I end up not because it feels like such a short time frame.

So…I’m thinking they (whoever they are) need to add about 6 or 7 more hours to the day. Who’s with me?

2 Comments » java:

March 11th, 2010 @ 7:25 pm I’m with you sister!

Where have the last two and half months gone??

I’d love either a few hours a day extra or an 8 day week!

Dad:

March 12th, 2010 @ 11:09 pm Sorry…but on March 14th you’re going to lose another hour.

Because tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, at Girlscouts we had a little Valentine’s Day party. I knew that the girls were going to be making Valentine’s Day cards, so I decided that I wanted to as well.

I crocheted little flowers for them. Since I didn’t really pay attention to time, I had to crochet about 7 of them last night. (It took at least 3/4 of the 1st Disc of the third season of the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle)

Today at the party, one of the girls had to leave early, so I gave her the little crocheted flower. She looked at it, then ran at me in a hug! I was surprised–she’s usually one of the quieter, not-as-showy kids. But that, and a comment from one of the other girls when I gave her her crocheted flower later (”I’m going to put this on my Christmas tree every year.”) made me think that the time I spent crocheting those little flowers was definitely not time lost.

It was time well spent. And if something as small as a crocheted flower can make someone happy, then, well…I think everyone should learn how to crochet flowers.

flower

1 Comment » Mrs. A.:

February 24th, 2010 @ 10:57 am You sound like a real Girl Scout Leader!! I am so proud of you!!

Last night, Vivien and I went to bed a little late because we were talking. So by the time we actually went to bed, it was around 1:00. Which isn’t too bad…except for the fact that around 3:15am we were woken by a loud noise and a flashing light. It was the fire alarm.

This is the second time I’ve been in the building when the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. (The first time was last year) It is not fun. In fact, it can be miserable.

When the alarm goes off, because of the flashing light, it is nearly impossible to see anything in a dark room. I grabbed my keys, my id, and my shoes, then ran out. Vivien grabbed her cell phone, her id, her keys (which were attached to her id) and her coat.  Vivien’s pajamas consisted of long pants and a t-shirt. My pajamas consisted of at-shirt that fell to my knees. All I can say is that it was really really cold outside.

We had to stand outside for about a half hour. One of my suitemates saw me, and offered me part of her jacket, since it was two parts. (That, I thought was really nice of her, especially since I don’t talk to my suitemates nearly as much as I should, and don’t know them very well.) The zipper on her coat got stuck though, and as she was trying to get it undone, everyone moved into the dorm building next door. Despite the fact that, after looking around, I realized I was least dressed for the weather, everyone was cold.

All throughout this, Vivien and I both felt sick. I’m not sure if anyone else felt the same way, but there’s something about being pulled from a deep sleep that makes your stomach roll. It happened to me last year too…I remember because while going down the stairs with the alarm sounding, I had to be careful not to fall, I was so dizzy.We stayed in the lobby of the next door building for another half hour or so. When we were finally allowed to go back into the building and up to our room, it was a little after 4.

The moral? Leave your coat where it’s easily grabbable.

My grandfather’s back at his house now. From what I heard, he’s much better. I even talked to him on the phone today, and he sounded fine. 

The busy part I mentioned is my schedule. It’s a lot busier than any other semester so far. I know it doesn’t look terribly busy, but try doing it! And I still need to fill out the study abroad forms and find a program for Japan…the teacher said she’d help me with that on Thursday. I have an idea of what program I want (It would let me stay in Japan from Jan 2011 to July 2011) but I’ve never heard of it before so I wonder if the teacher has… it’s  Japanese Language School - Study Abroad in Japan - Japanese Language Studies at KCP International Japanese Language School –Tokyo - Japan

And I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned, but the program I’m using to go to Spain is

http://www.studiesabroad.com/

One more day and then the first week of classes will be over. Which is good, since I’m exhausted! It doesn’t help that, since coming back to school, I haven’t had a whole night’s sleep. For some reason, I’ve been waking up one or more times in the middle of the night. It’s really annoying, and I can’t figure out why!

Just from the first meeting with all the classes, I have the feeling that I will work harder this semester than any semester so far. My schedule is like so:

Monday: classes from 10-1 workstudy 3-8

Tuesday: class 11-12:15 workstudy 2-4

Wednesday: classes 10-1 workstudy 2-4 class 7-9:30

Thursday: class 11-12:15 school newspaper meeting 12:30-1:00 class 6:30-?

Friday: classes 10-1 workstudy 2-6

Well, the workstudy on Tuesdays and Wednesdays is slightly longer than I said due to travel time. And between all this I need to schedule in field experience for criminal justice. It’s possible that I’ll try to do some of my field experience during February and/or April vacation. I suppose if it really gets hard I could cut back on workstudy hours. But I don’t want to…since I’m going abroad next year, I need money! And as much as my parents may want to help, I know for a fact that they cannot afford to. As it is, they’ve already done more than enough by letting me pay them back for car insurance when I’m able instead of demanding the money every month.

The only other school news I have at the moment is that I found out that I spent $80 on the wrong book! When I’d emailed the teacher for that class at the end of next semester, she had told me the name of one book (the one I bought for $80) but when we got the syllabus the first day of class, a totally different book was listed! The teacher must have gotten confused. Ah well. I found the correct book for $15. I’m going to keep the other book because it is a class that I’m going to take in two years. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to take the class anyway. Hopefully they’ll use the same book. If not, I will at least have gained another valuable resource for information on criminal justice.

Today, my dad called. Apparently my Grandpa M is in the hospital! I was stunned. According to my dad, it started when my grandpa fell down on Christmas. Everyone thought it was nothing. But recently I guess there’ve been problems, so yesterday my dad drove over to my grandparents house so that my grandfather could go to a doctor’s appointment. The doctor sent him immediately to the emergency room. It turns out there was some bleeding in his brain…and he needs some colon thing…colonoscopy?  And his blood count was too low–low by like half!

So obviously they kept him in the hospital. They gave him more blood and he seemed to perk up. When my dad and grandma left him last night, he seemed fine. But then today, when they went to the hospital again, my grandpa didn’t seem to know where he is. He seems to think that he’s at a friend’s house….and he yelled at my dad and my Aunt M (my dad’s sister)  about leaving him without his pants and his wallet. I don’t know about the wallet, but my dad said that his pants were in the room, on the window seat. My dad said that being with my grandpa today was like being in the twilight zone. Apparently, my grandfather alternated between that confused anger, and trips down memory lane.

I was told that he’s going to have the colon-whatsis operation tomorrow, and he should be fine and out of the hospital by monday. The hospital people don’t seem concerned with his confusion, they think its ICU-itis, or something like that.

About now is the time that I slightly regret going to a school so far away from my family. Although, in this case, there’s nothing I could do, even if I was there. My Grandma seems to be taking this at least semi-calmly. When I called her, she was of the opinion that they’ll fix up my grandpa and he’ll be fine in no time.

So between classes, workstudy and scheduling field experience, I’ll be praying….

…oh, and I have Girl Scouts on Saturday.

1 Comment » Mrs. A.:

January 23rd, 2010 @ 10:11 am Your grandfather is in our prayers. Keep us updated about his status. Eat any Girl Scout cookies lately?